I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Randomize
