so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
