I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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