i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
