ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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