Operation Purity has been aborted
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
