spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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