You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize