She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
