Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
