Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
