Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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