It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
