She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize