You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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