You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.