idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?