Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Heaven soaked bacon.

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  (818): i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like. (615): Heaven soaked bacon. http://tfl.nu/85uv
  Replies (63) Good night (4073) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period

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  (209): he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period http://tfl.nu/tso5
  Replies (217) Good night (1490) Bad night (29000)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.

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  (480): turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way. http://tfl.nu/4k3o
  Replies (30) Good night (4884) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.

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  (612): hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted. http://tfl.nu/g5t8
  Replies (37) Good night (2742) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.

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  (330): Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT. http://tfl.nu/98ye
  Replies (27) Good night (1256) Bad night (6128)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.

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  (519): Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife. http://tfl.nu/uqm2
  Replies (13) Good night (1423) Bad night (5236)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.

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  (647): Think I pulled my pelvic muscle. (416): I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle. http://tfl.nu/mzl9
  Replies (6) Good night (1937) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.

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  (859): and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/coqa
  Replies (10) Good night (1494) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  do you still have it? i kinda want to see.

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  (518): he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner. (732): do you still have it? i kinda want to see. http://tfl.nu/j8xe
  Replies (4) Good night (1923) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?

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  (909): Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy? http://tfl.nu/kkqk
  Replies (10) Good night (1670) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right

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  (610): I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right http://tfl.nu/fw6i
  Replies (2) Good night (485) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.

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  (909): Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now. http://tfl.nu/xh05
  Replies (1) Good night (610) Bad night (233)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me

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  (425): Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me http://tfl.nu/wcm8
  Replies (1) Good night (537) Bad night (219)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes

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  (563): I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes http://tfl.nu/k4tx
  Replies (2) Good night (448) Bad night (136)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  "I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"

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  (313): "I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead" http://tfl.nu/zzf1
  Replies (3) Good night (251) Bad night (501)

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