Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
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some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.