I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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