Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
