there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
