I'm drive I can fine osifer
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Watching her eat just hurts me
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
