Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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