That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
