he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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