hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
