Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
