You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
