My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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