a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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