You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
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i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
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Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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