I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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