No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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