Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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