White coat. Heels.
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
