Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
