when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
