Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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