Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
