Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Randomize
