i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
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he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
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I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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