I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize