Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
