i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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