You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
