I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
