so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
