I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
