I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
