I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
you inspire me to be a worse person
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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