What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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