I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
