Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
