After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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