ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
