I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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