Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
