yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
