White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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